ICE!
by Merrit Jade
Summary: It starts out slow, but the end is funny.


**Hi people. Sorry I'm bad at spelling and if you have a issue with that, don't read this. Enjoy and please review, they encourage me a lot to write. This is not my best work because I'm sick and board. But, it starts slow and gets better.**

I grinned and easily snuck into Arya's living quarters (through the window). I

first checked my hair in

the mirror for no apparent reason. I then walked into the kitchen and opened the

Fridge. Hey, I was hungry, and I knew no one was there. I helped my self to a

hand full of nuts and got to work. I opened my pack and got out a knife. I

walked into her pathetic bedroom and half way sawed all the chairs legs off so

she would sit on them then fall on her but. After that I started humming and

opened her closet. It was pretty neat. I put a bag of feathers on top of the door

with tar so they would fall and stick to her sweet little elfish head. I

muhahahed at the idea before making my way to the bathroom. I greased the

chamber pot and switched the shampoo with bleach and honey. After that I did

something eviler; I put a freshly roasted duck in the fridge! She would freak. I

did more: stuff her clothes with itchy powder, fill the pillows with shaving cream,

switched hair spray with foot fungus healer, filled her shoes with cat turds, and

placed Bill Clintons autobiography on her bedside table. I grinned and walked to

the open window and stopped. I looked at the bare wall and grinned. I pulled

out my red lipstick and wrote, 'THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS HAS BEEN OPENED

AGAIN'.

I snickered and tossed my bag out the window. I heard a thump

then a "Hey! You were suppose to tell me you were going to throw it!"

I apologized to Iceidia and slid down the grapple hooks rope, closing the window

on the way down. My feat hit the forest ground with a soft thump. "Shh, there

coming!" I excitedly said hiding behind a bush. Iceidia ducked. We listened. Then

we heared foot steps, a click, a scream, a thump, more screams, footsteps, a

crack of wood, a thump, a few more thumps, a scream, a 'ew,' a gasp, a _woosh_

and a "Whats that smell?" We were doubled over laughing. I straightened up,

and grasped my grappling hook.

We made our way to the food quart. I opened my magic bag and got

out a sample of purple fungi. I opened the test tube and seamed it on the floors

tiles. They instantly collapsed revealing a tunnel. I smiled and Iceidia stared at

the tunnel then the fungus. "What was that?"

"Lucky dissolving fungi, savvy?" She snorted. I went to the next room

and smeared more fungus on the floor revealing another whole. I got out a

bright flashing sign with arrows pointing to the hole. It said 'DO NOT GO IN

HERE. IT IS THE SERET ENTRANCE TO THE CAMBER OF SERETS'.

"Then what was the other hole for? What is the real entrance?" She asked me.

"The one with the sign is a fake. Who would be that stupid to go in it?"

"Um…Arya?"

"…yeah…good point…I hope she will be followed by someone to be smart."

"Whats in the tunnel anyway? And why do you want them in it?"

"Muhaha…you will see soon…hurry, in here! they are coming!" We went in the real tunnel and hid. Arya and a lot of elves burst in. Arya pointed at the signed whole and said;

"Look! The chamber of secrets! Lets go in." She walked toward it. I

rolled my eyes.

"Wait, my lady! It's obviously a trap. Let us look around first." Said a noble.

Arya nodded and say the other whole. "Look over hear! Bye! No-one

follow me please," and by saying that she jumped in the hole. _Idiot _I thought.

We darted into the tunnel unnoticed and I pulled out a bag of veggie-crisps. I

threaded it on to a fishing hook. I tossed it around the corner and ran like hell.

We heard, "Mmm! Veggie crisps are my favorite." She caught the bag and

Excitedly opened it where she took several moments snarfing it down. That was

all we needed. We ran to the end of the tunnel and I pulled out a instant peach

trick kit and I threw it on the ground. There was an explosion and all of a sudden

we looked like we were on a beach…but in the middle was a huge, ripe, juicy

peach!

We gasped and his behind some palm trees. She came in and stopped

mid leap before drooling at the site of the enchanting peach before her.

She ran to it with her arms open and tong out. It rolled away. She followed it.

The peach rolled all over and soon Arya just crawled to it, where it just rolled

away. We got tired of hiding and came out. She (of coarse) did not notice us.

Then I got board and reached in to my magic bag getting out a instant dance kit.

I dropped it, there was an explosion and a dance club folded out with all kinds of

people dancing.

But, the best Part was…Orlando Blooms and tons of male Abercrombie and Fitch

models were

everywhere! Iceidia and I screamed and ran in as awesome dance music started

playing. We dived into the sea of good-looking guys who were ALL asking us to

dance. After about, oh, maybe a hour we looked were Arya had been. There

was a small, pathetic puddle. The I noticed Ed Speelers (the guy who plays

Eragon in the movie) was there (muhaha, I am evil). I retired to a chair by the

wall to drink some punch. Then I saw Iceidia was beginning to get tired. I

walked to her and reminded her to rest so she will not puddle-ify like Arya. She

agreed and the dance came to a rest while we talked and drank punch. Then

they began playing a song by My Chemical Romance and we all ran to

the dance floor throwing our best moves in and finishing with dueted cartwheels

opposite ways and bowing. Then another song I was not familiar with came on

and I heard a _crash_ then Eragon, Islandzaddi (or how ever the elf queens name

is spelled), and other elf's barged in rudely disrupting our dance. I went over to

confront them but I found Islandzaddi flirting with a group of good lookin' guys. I

ignored her and the males looked board and I pulled out an instant

entertainment kit from my bag and thew it on the floor. Instantly plasmas were

every where playing the un-local football game. The went wiled and started

cheering. I returned my attention to Ed speelers, who, oviously, was looking at

Eragon '_slightly'_ annoyed. Then he brightened up and I swear I saw a light bulb

go on above his head. He went away for a moment and changed into Eragon-ish

clothes. Then he painted he palm silver and noticed me laughing. He winked at

me with a mischievous look in his eye. I nodded smirking and got Iceidia to look.

"No way I saw Ed like totally just like wink at you!" she exclaimed. I

cleared my throat and motioned to him for her to watch as if I was winked at by

hot movie stars every day.

"What's up?" Ed asked Eragon.

"Dude, you look just like me." said Eragon.

"No really? I didn't notice."

"Yeah! You do."

"Oh, sorry I forgot. Christopher P. didn't invent sarcasm in Alegasia."

Eragon looked at Ed with a blank look.

"Dang, I'm sorry, I forgot you could only understand one syllable words."

Eragon looked at Ed with a blank look.

"Do you know what a syllable is?"

Eragon looked at Ed with a blank look.

"Guess not."

I saw Murtaugh sneak up behind Eragon and put a piece of ice in his shirt. He began dancing uncontrollably moving around as he did so.

"Limbo Line!!" some one yelled. We all lined up behind him and someone held the stick up. Eragon got closer to the stick, didn't see it, walked right into it knocking him over with everyone else in the line.

"I got the ice!" screamed Eragon happily. Everyone stared at him as he held the ice cube in his hand. He squeezed it to hard and I flew across the room, bounced of the ceiling to the floor, then the wall, other wall, ceiling, corner, door, and

floor. It was like flubber! We all just sat there (we all fell over when Eragon fell)

watching it bounce against everything. It went to the refresh meant table and hit

the back of a spoon. The ice landed and melted but it sent the spoon flying

across the room strait into the queens open mouth. She began chocking and

everyone just watched her. She coughed it up but stumbled back knocking in to

an Orlando Bloom. The Orlando Bloom stumbled back and knocked into a chair.

The chair flew across the room and hit a random person who fell face first into

the punch. His flailing feet hit a elf dude. The elf dude went flying across the

room and hit the wall. He crashed down on a group of elf girls. The looked at

him, screamed, and ran off. They ran and one of them stepped into Arya-puddle.

The same girl left her shoe in the puddle and ran into the kitchen. At that exact

moment the cook came out with a bowl of veggie crisps. The girl dove at the

cooks feet to steal his shoe, causing him to trip, sending the veggie crisps

sailing trough the air. We watched like it was in slow motion. It veggie crisps

landed in the Arya puddle. Then the assistant cook ran out stirring pancake

batter and tried to separate the two fighting for the shoe. I watched as the

pancake batter was dropped and the queens advisor slipped in it sending the

pen he was holding fly out of his hand and hit Murtaugh in the eye. Murtaugh

howled and ran into the wall sending the ceiling tapestry down on everyone.

Some one tried to put the ceiling tapestry back up but in all the panic someone

blew the entire roof off. To our 'luck', It was raining and everyone got soaked. Then Murtaugh, who was still running around punched a guy on accident. The guy he punched thought it was the dude next to him and punched him. Soon the entire room was fighting.

After the fight was over Eragon asked, "Was this my fault?"

We all nodded and Eragon slipped a piece of ice into Murtaughs shirt.

I maliciously grinned. "Can someone hand me my video camera? This would look great on youtube…" 

Thee End-ith

Much love

-Ella


End file.
